Just another straight experience

He was just not geared to think about love and bonding with another man. When I invoked him sexually, he responded very subconsciously, positively to it. But the moment he became aware he held back. But then started to get more and more drawn. He also started to get drawn emotionally.

He could barely accomodate the physical part of it, very, very superficially, without acknowledging it. But he neither wanted the emotional part nor he knew how to deal with it or 'nibhao' it. Not because it is not natural for men to do so. But because, the nature was never allowed to develop in him, like with other 'straight' males.

While physically and emotionally he was getting united with me -- more on the subconscious level, even if he kept fighting it on the concscious level, the more conscious part of him, continued to run after girls, to seek emotional and social union with a girl.

Therefore, he thought nothing of breaking the 'deal', the 'essence' of this bond. He couldn't honour this essence, and started to openly court girls and seek to develop relationships with them.

When I retaliated and threatened to leave him, suddenly he would be forced to leave that girl but that would leave him seething with anger at me, and then he would try to hurt our bond as well. He wanted to get out of it, but just couldn't.

In all this running away from me, one day he suddenly fell in love with a girl. It seems it was his first love. He fell head over heels for her.

It broke my heart and left him. He didn't get that girl, and he couldn't deal with my loss too. He changed himself a lot in the beginning when threatened with losing me. For the first time he indirectly acknowledged our bond.

But, as soon as I seemed to return (I hadn't actually, I just wanted to see if he could change as much as I now wanted him to change) ... he was back into his old ways again. He wanted a sexual relationship with me, but very, very superficially, without showing any sign of intimacy, whether emotional or social.

He haven't got down to anything remotely sexual yet, because, in the first part (before he fell in love with the girl) he was running away from it, and today, I don't want to give it to him, unless he changes.

And that is the story of man's oppression. Of how he is broken from another man. This is the ugly reality of Heterosexuality, which is portrayed as so noble and respectful by the society. Heterosexuality is a demon, an evil that forcibly breaks men from his basic nature and turns him into a monster, an unfeeling, unnatural, selfish individual with a stone for heart.

You can't see this oppression of men, because men have been made to feel so ashamed of this natural reality that he doesn't want anyone to see it. And the society doesn't let anyone see it either. Any discussion or display of it is quickly marginalized into the unmanly, third gender, gay ghetto.

They claim, if you like men, you're one of those 'homosexuals' so, its only scientific and reasonable that you go there.

This is just part of the whole oppression process. Part of the conspiracy against men.

There is certainly a conspiracy against men. Otherwise, such strong oppression cannot happen without someone actively working to make that happen.

Coping with pressures to resist the need for affection from other boys in boarding schools

Is homosexuality common at boarding school?

The school I attended was a co-educational school. That is the boys and girls were in the same lessons. The only difference was they were in different dormitories and sports were single sex.

So place yourself in the shoes of a young child far from home. With nobody to cuddle them when they are sad or hurt. What happens - well these children have a few options.

(1)Crush any desire for affection and touch.
(2)Seek this from other children.

Many of us, who have attended boarding school from a young age, learn (1) and we will usually have gone through (2), been thoroughly humiliated then learn to do (1).

Bearing in mind that dormitories are single sex I think this answers the question of where (2) comes from.

poster: JGEE